Improve Your Family Relationships

Do you find yourself dealing with sibling arguments and fights? Or deciding whose turn it is to do the dishes? Trying to get the children to bed and figuring out how much allowance your kids should get?

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Have a Family Meeting!

The purpose of a family meeting is to establish a democratic, dependable way to open communication and create equality among the family members. Family meetings are a regularly scheduled time for family members to sit together and discuss their concerns, their plans and to share information between each other. For example, you can plan fun activities, divide family chores, and create a schedule for the family to follow, solve problems, develop responsibilities and promote self-discipline.

Family Meeting Structure
As the parent, you set the date and time that is convenient for the family. The parent is the leader and model for the children to learn how to run a meeting. This meeting has a time limit of 15-30 minutes depending on your children ages. There is an agenda in which everyone is encouraged to provide input before the meeting.

Make sure there are no interruptions.

This is the most precious time among family members.

Children need to learn from their parents the value of respecting their time together. No phone calls, no TV, no music, no electronics (unless used to take notes about the meeting) and no visitors.

Every week choose a chairperson for the meeting. Provide an opportunity for the younger children to lead (with parental support) and rotate the chairperson each week. Assign a note taker (parent to demonstrate how this is done at first) and then rotate this assignment as well.
Stay focused on the agenda. Make sure it’s attainable. Don’t overreach and put too many action items on it. For children and adults with ADHD, you’ll need to be specific, keep it simple and time limited.

Start with praises and end with recognitions. For example, thank everyone for being on time or thank the first person that was on time. Recognize everyone’s participation and willingness to collaborate.

Every member is an equal member of the family.

Create rules for the meeting. These rules might include everyone is treated with respect, one speaker at a time, reflect back what the other person is saying or asking, when someone’s feelings get hurt allow time to express and listen to their point of view. Every idea and opinion must be heard. If a family health or welfare decision is needed, the adults will make these decisions outside the meeting. Always let the children know this is the rule for their safety and security of the family.

The entire family, in consensus, makes decisions. Don’t take a vote and override a family member’s thoughts or feelings.

An important point to remember is the parents must avoid cancelling the meeting or not meeting regularly. This sends the wrong message to the children. It impacts the effectiveness and undermines the parent’s authority.

Follow through with the actions agree by the family.