I’m always being asked, “What is ADHD coaching? Is it therapy?” And more often than not, I find myself repeating that coaching is NOT a replacement for psychotherapy. Most psychotherapy can only move as fast as it takes for the patient to deal with the source/origin of their problems.
Coaching enters as soon as a person becomes aware that a challenge exists and they want to discover and learn new skills to manage it. For individuals with ADHD, this can be a deficit on Executive Functions. A coach may team up with a psychotherapist since that enables a coach to develop and update a “game plan” for the client.
In his book Foundation of Coaching, James Flaherty describes coaching as a learning experience as the client’s observation of their performance is a “discipline that requires fresher, innovative, and relentless correction according to the outcomes being produced.”
Coaching Is A Learning Experience For The Coach As Well
When I say coaching is a learning experience, this includes the coach. A coach listens, researches the client’s particular situation, and seeks to understand the client’s point of view and interpretation of events. The coach is working to build a respectful relationship with a client.
A coach will listen to a client’s goals, aspirations, strengths, and challenges. Sometimes it is important for the coach to interrupt so they can understand the “bottom line” of a narrative. The coach will ask permission to ask challenging questions, to clarify what was heard and to share their own intuition when needed.
Client Expectations Of A Coach
The client can expect a coach to:
- Clarify your values and beliefs
- Clarify your strengths and explore ways to utilize them
- Continually evaluate goals and your development
- Define areas for growth and explore ways to make progress
- Brainstorm options with you
The coach wants a partnership that will actually succeed in promoting change. The intent is to provide a re-structured environment that lets productive actions and behaviors flourish, moving the client forward.
Being honest and accountable are important aspects of the coaching experience. This is an opportunity for a client to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and strengths – and to make sincere progress towards their goals. As the client grows, they must embrace the changes that work best for them. If they can clearly see where it is working, then it becomes a permanent part of their life. At each step along the way, we will strive for this mutual clarity.
Yes, the coaching process takes time. Coaching is a process that relies on behavioral change and will involve learning and practicing new skills and strategies. But it’s not a situation where you sacrifice control. I make a point of reminding my clients,
“You are in the driver’s seat. Only you can take the wheel and make the decision about which direction you want to go in.”