Is Everything Related to ADD/ADHD, Anxiety or Depression

stained-glass-love-hands

Maybe.

This might not be the answer you want to hear. ADD/ADHD, Anxiety or Depression manifest in different ways. There’s no definite and absolute answer when working with children and adolescents. However, what I will say that is absolute, is the love you have for your child and their love for you.

Help Our Children Manage Their Emotions

A child, like us, have good days and bad days. It is your job as the parent to remain calm when they are out of control. I know this is easier said than done.

However, as the adult we are the ones responsible to help them understand and learn to manage their emotions. We create a safe place for them to do that.

As an adult, it’s easier to tell when we’re stressed, worried or sad.  We can use our words.  We have options to help ourselves.  We go for a walk.  We talk with a friend.  We even take some time out.

Children are not this self-aware. They don’t understand what, why or how about their emotions. Much less how to react. A child knows how to scream, cry or call out for you when something doesn’t feel right.

Be Aware Of How ADD/ADHD, Anxiety or Depression Manifests

But when they’re hurting emotionally, the pain inside is inexplicable to them. They only know how awful it feels so they act out on that pain. This can manifest itself in so many ways.

  • Tears
  • Throwing things
  • Not eating
  • Loss of sleep
  • Isolate
  • Become clingy
  • Problems come up at school
  • Lack of energy
  • Increased worry
  • Loss of interest in their hobbies
  • Overly engaged

Noticing your child’s behavior is very important.

It is up to you to identify if the behavior is part of their developmental growth, ADD/ADHD or another physical reason.  Look at how often this behavior comes up. The intensity of the behavior.  These are cues.

Create a Safe Place

When you’re talking with your child, it is critical you create a safe place. Do you stay with them? Or sometimes an adolescent may be left alone to calm down.

Are you talking to them at their level? If not, drop down to your knees and hold direct eye contact.

You want to create a connection with love and respect. This creates safety and trust.

 

Engage With Others Through Curiosity

When we're curious, people feel understood - heard

When we’re curious, people feel understood – heard

What’s behind the painting, the picture or the person?

As the years go by and I coach children, adolescents, college students and adults, at times it is easy for me to jump to conclusions or assumptions on areas where I can see a clear answer before them.

Then, I remember that what inspires me to coach is the desire to be a partner in their journey of self-discovery.

I do that by maintaining an attitude of curiosity. Through curiosity we can learn the other person’s thoughts, motivation and reasoning.

What’s curiosity? Wikipedia defines: Curiosity as “careful, diligent, curious.” It is a quality related to inquisitive thinking such as exploration, investigation, and learning evident in observation of human and many animal species. A thirst for knowledge, curiosity is a major driving force behind scientific research and other disciplines of human study.

Curiosity is about open-mindedness. It’s the willingness to learn about someone else’s point of view, their story or their wants. It starts by asking the first question about the other person.
ASK – Gather Information or Knowledge
LISTEN – Purposely and Passionately
SUSPEND – No Judgment

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