by Dulce Torres | Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health
WHAT’s happening in the mind of an athlete?
ask yourself “Have I had these thoughts?”
I’m an Athlete and I’m Not Okay
Athletes are Perfect Human Beings Right?
Can you Spell Athlete without Mental Health?
Athletes and Mental Health, Who Cares?
What’s Really Going on in an Athlete’s Mind?
inside the athlete mind
There is a belief that has been circling in the world of sports for as long as sports have existed. The belief that individuals who play sports are stronger than other humans (yes, athletes are also human believe it or not), both physically and mentally.
Athletes are assumed to have this unwavering ability to handle anything thrown at them, both literally and figuratively.
What happens when, no matter the amount of practice, an athlete just cannot seem to hit a curve ball? Is it because they haven’t practiced it enough? Is it because they can’t see it? There can be a number of questions raised on the physicality of an athlete when it comes to physical shortcomings.
The number one question which should be asked is:
What is going on in their mind as the ball was approaching the plate?
mental health in athletes
Far too often we blame a physical ailment as to why he couldn’t hit that jump shot, or she couldn’t dig that ball. The true focus should be on the athlete’s part of the body that cannot be seen and is not nearly trained enough: their brain.
Studies indicate elite athletes differ from mediocre athletes in one category: mental preparation/toughness. Let’s be clear, athletes, like anyone else, experience mental health issues like anxiety, depression, ADHD and learning disabilities.
It has never been about athletes being perfect or experiencing mental health issues. It is about the way an athlete learns to cope with these mental health difficulties so they can get to their highest achievements.
athlete Mental Health Statistics
Studies vary on the percentage of student-athletes with mental health issues, ranging from 10% – 30% of college athletes. There are a couple of reasons why the statistics vary.
First, the sports and mental health field is growing every day and new studies are coming out with their findings. Understanding mental health in athletes is still a relatively new field. It was not until 2013 the NCAA created the Mental Health Task Force to research issues relating to athletes and mental health. It has not been a priority in the past. Although there have been many strides, there is still a long way to go.
Second, I believe these statistics to be on the low end, meaning the percentage of athletes who experience mental health issues are probably higher. Although it is discussed more often today, it does not mean athletes are willing to admit to experiencing mental health issues.
There is still a stigma with mental health and seeking help. Athletes should be tougher than that right?
recognize mental health issues
Here is the good news. You’re not alone if you feel:
- overwhelmed
- frustrated
- anxious
- sad
- pissed
Many athletes experience all of these emotions and I am here to tell you it’s perfectly normal. In fact, I would be concerned if you didn’t feel any of these emotions!
Often, society says, inaccurately, mental health issues are associated with weakness. Everyone, whether an athlete or not will experience some mental health issue(s) in their lifetime. It’s not so much about what the issue is, or whether someone else is going through something different.
It’s about the help you seek for it and what you can do for yourself to overcome it. There is strength in recognizing mental health issues and even more strength in advocating for a better mental health outcome for yourself.
Famous Athletes with Mental Health Disorders
Take a minute to read over these quotes spoken by some of the most successful athletes in the world. And take a minute to grasp the fact you are not alone. The teammate sitting next to you, the competitor you face, the coach instructing you, or the athlete on the other side of the world has been in your shoes.
“Everyone is going through something that we can’t see… Mental health is an invisible thing, but it touches all of us at some point or another.” -Kevin Love
“I think as an athlete we’re taught that if we can push through anything we can make it wherever we want to go, and we’re always told to not ask for help.” -Allison Schmitt
Many of the most successful athletes in the world have experienced their own mental boxing match. We all have. We try to fight the big, bad, mental invasion forging in our brains. Thinking we need to do it alone. Thinking the outside world will believe we are weak. Instead of holding all that barrage of emotions, bring everything you’re feeling to light. Because when you bring it to light, you allow yourself to recognize it. And once you recognize it, you give yourself the freedom to overcome it.
Challenge: Work this Exercise
- Grab a pen and paper, or your computer or whatever device you prefer.
- Try to find a quiet area or room where ever you are reading this.
- Put some music on if you like.
- Have a seat with that pen and paper on the table.
- Write down every emotion you have felt, both on and off the field relating to your sport, your teammates, your coach, school, family, any topic you want to think about.
Take about five minutes, or a little more if necessary.
If you want, do this with a friend and compare notes. This will give you an understanding of the different emotions every athlete has faced.
Keep this list posted somewhere.
We’ll expand on this next week when I talk about anxiety and coping strategies for practice, on the field of play, in school, and at home.
by Dulce Torres | ADHD Diagnosis, Collaborative Parenting Skills, Diagnosis of ADHD, Executive Functions, Post-ADHD-Diagnosis, Treatment Strategies
Where Do I Begin After An ADHD Diagnosis?
Your child is newly diagnosed with ADHD. What now?
Start small. Begin by identifying your expectations. Learn about your child’s strengths. This gives you the advantage. You’re ready to help your child and set them up for success.
As parents, we have expectations for our children.
These expectations come from our own experiences, values, and beliefs. Let’s start with basic recommendations found in an article by Dr. Beth Seidel titled “Parent Expectations: 2 Steps to Success”. The first step; allow yourself to mourn.
When our children are given an ADHD diagnosis we can be in shock and we want answers.
- How come?
- What is this?
- Who has this?
- What do I need to do?
- Who can help me?
Mourning is about giving yourself permission to grieve, be sad or weep if needed.
When Is The Time To Act?
Once you have given yourself the opportunity to absorb the news of the diagnosis, find out as much as you can about ADHD.
- How does ADHD affect your child?
- What are the treatment options for your family?
- Talk to family members and answer their questions too.
- Clarify your expectations and move to Dr. Seidel’s second step.
Shifting Expectations
Take time to “redefine or reframe” your expectations based on what you learned about ADHD. You don’t need to raise or lower your standards or expectations.
It means you will teach, expect and support your child at their level. Dr. Seidel helps us by giving us three recommendations:
- Clarify your expectations based on the child’s development stages, as you would with any child
- Ask yourself where your child’s development is based on the stages of growth. Take into consideration an ADHD child is 33% or 3-5 years behind their peers. How would you respond to a meltdown or tantrum from your 10-year-old compared to your 13-year-old?
2. Define your expectations based on your child’s neurological abilities
- ADHD is a neurobiological disorder. It affects our children’s neurological abilities. Gain an understanding of how the neurological abilities and executive functions, such as emotion, self-control, memory, and learning, affect your child.
3. Establish your expectations based on what’s important to you for your child’s success
- What’s most important for your child to be successful? What do you need to let go of? Are you comparing your child to a sibling, relative, or another child? Are you listening to what others say about their child and how good they are doing in school and you know this isn’t the case for your child? Is it because your child needs help transitioning from one activity to the next? This means you’ll need to monitor the transition process and support your child. Is your expectation they’ll do their homework with minimal disruption and less support from you?
Areas Where You Can Redefine Your Expectations
- Chores
- Homework
- Your emotional response to their behaviors
- Planning a vacation
- Your child social interactions with peers
You have lots to consider as a parent of a newly diagnosed child with ADHD.
Let’s go back to those strengths. Take a look at the character strengths from VIA.

Take time to think of your child and write down all you know they are good at and do. Use the list to help you in the process.
Knowing their strengths is to your advantage. You can provide feedback. Create strategies to work for them. You have the power to inspire your child.
The small seed you have planted will grow slowly and helps them be the best person they are set to be.
by Dulce Torres | Goal Coach
Science Says 92% Of Us Will Not Reach Our Goal

As the New Year begins, a lot of us are thinking about our 2017 resolutions. There is something about a fresh calendar and the start of a brand-new year that often gives us a jolt of motivational energy. It’s time to make a change to improve our quality of life. And good for us for thinking positively. Seizing the opportunity to improve ourselves. Unfortunately for most, a couple weeks after the beginning of the New Year our goals and the tools purchased to help us get there, are long forgotten.
Does This Sound Familiar?
With a new year, brings the perception of a clean slate. A fresh new start with endless possibilities. After finishing up an often, stressful holiday season, many of us begin to search for something to help us feel optimistic about the start of the new year.
“Last year I really ate horribly…I’m going to eat healthier this year”
“Last year I was so tired all the time, I’m going to get more rest this year”
“I’ve spent the last year in a job I hate, this year, I’m going to find something new”
“And the ultimate…. My xyz birthday is this year, I’ve got to xyz before then” 
What Happens To Our Best Intentions?
If we all begin the New Year with the best of intentions…what happens to this positive energy by the 2nd week of the year?
The problem may lie in the incredible amount of pressure we place on ourselves during this time of year. And the astronomical size of the goals we set.
We tend to focus too heavily on the What and not enough on the How.
When we are more concerned with the actual goal and not on the objectives (the steps you will take to get there), yucky, negative feelings roll in.
These negative feelings smother all that positive energy and motivation. Some of us become panicked that the goal will never be met. Some of us become depressed because the goal isn’t being met fast enough. Still others let guilt take over when old habits creep back into daily practice.

Begin With a Couple Key Points in Mind
Start By Being Clear & Concise
Create a hard line in the sand to define what a goal is and what an objective is. A Goal is a BIG picture item – I want to be more organized, I want to be on time to work, I want to lose 20lbs. These are goals. They are major. They are the finish line. If you think of a goal as a balloon, Objectives is the air you’re going to blow into it, one breath at a time until it’s full. I am going to buy a calendar/planner, I am going to write out a morning routine for the work-week, I am going to walk outside for 15 minutes during my lunch break – these are objectives.
Are your goals and objectives reasonable? Are they measurable? Are they big enough to be motivating but small enough to be achievable over time?
Focus On The How
Keep in mind that New Year’s resolutions tend to fall apart when we focus too heavily on the goal itself, and not enough on each one of the steps we need to take along the way. To do this, spend more time working on creating solid objectives. I want more organization? In what ways? How will the organization be different at home vs. at work? What tools will you need to help you?
Create a Road Map
It’s helpful to create a roadmap, complete with stops along the way. Your goal is the final destination. This will allow you to break down the goal into consumable bites.
Put Pencil To Paper
Notice I said pencil and not pen. Writing something down increases the chances that you will complete it. Putting words on paper is imperative during this time. Pencil can be erased and re-written an endless number of times, and while your ultimate new year’s resolution may not change over time – I’ll let that the objectives you’ll develop will. Goal work is a living process; it is ever-changing.
Consult your goal coach –goals and objectives need to be written down, no doubt about it. When it comes to making changes, you’ll want some guidance and support from your coach. Your coach will help you tease out why an objective isn’t being met, what changes can be made to help improve the chances of achievement.
Create Lifelong Habits
Truly there is no secret to achieving a goal. It will always come back to commitment, motivation, and the proper tools to create long-lasting change. During the new year, the goals many of us have for ourselves involve making lifelong changes that will continue to improve the quality of our life; forming new habits and getting rid of old ones. Allow yourself time to wrap your mind around this concept, it will help guide you in forming long-term goals.

Find a Goal Coach
This is where having a motivating partner, coach or counselor makes the difference between just another New Year’s resolution and an organized, structured, realistic set of New Year’s goals.
Choosing the right person(s) to partner with in the New Year is key. While you may want to include family members and friends on your NEW YEAR NEW ME team, you’ll want one person to be front and center. They will lead the way from start to finish.
Search for a centralizing GOAL COACH who will not only hold you accountable but help you organize your BIG goals into bite-size pieces – made for easier digestion.
Your GOAL COACH needs to be someone you trust. You feel comfortable with, but someone who is able to be equal parts listener, empathizer and kick in the butt jump starter.
Consult your goal coach – it’s human nature to want, what we want NOW! Part of the goal setting (and achieving) process involves creating goals that are sustainable long term. Lean on your goal coach to help you weed out “quick fixes” and short-term thinking.
Overall, good for you for beginning the New Year with a positive outlook on your future. All of us have incredible strengths that come along with areas of challenge where improvements can be made. The decision to allow a goal coach to support you can be the biggest difference between sampling wishing something to be different, and taking the steps necessary for change.
