ADHD, Client Expectations, Coaching Experience, Executive Functions, Open Communication, Partnership
I’m always being asked, “What is ADHD coaching? Is it therapy?” And more often than not, I find myself repeating that coaching is NOT a replacement for psychotherapy. Most psychotherapy can only move as fast as it takes for the patient to deal with the source/origin of their problems.
Coaching enters as soon as a person becomes aware that a challenge exists and they want to discover and learn new skills to manage it. For individuals with ADHD, this can be a deficit on Executive Functions. A coach may team up with a psychotherapist since that enables a coach to develop and update a “game plan” for the client.
In his book Foundation of Coaching, James Flaherty describes coaching as a learning experience as the client’s observation of their performance is a “discipline that requires fresher, innovative, and relentless correction according to the outcomes being produced.”
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Collaborative Parenting Skills, Family Meeting, Open Communication
Improve Your Family Relationships
Do you find yourself dealing with sibling arguments and fights? Or deciding whose turn it is to do the dishes? Trying to get the children to bed and figuring out how much allowance your kids should get?
- Have a Family Meeting!
The purpose of a family meeting is to establish a democratic, dependable way to open communication and create equality among the family members. Family meetings are a regularly scheduled time for family members to sit together and discuss their concerns, their plans and to share information between each other. For example, you can plan fun activities, divide family chores, and create a schedule for the family to follow, solve problems, develop responsibilities and promote self-discipline.
Family Meeting Structure
As the parent, you set the date and time that is convenient for the family. The parent is the leader and model for the children to learn how to run a meeting. This meeting has a time limit of 15-30 minutes depending on your children ages. There is an agenda in which everyone is encouraged to provide input before the meeting.
Make sure there are no interruptions.
This is the most precious time among family members.
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ADHD, Connecting, Curiosity, Open Communication
When we’re curious, people feel understood – heard
What’s behind the painting, the picture or the person?
As the years go by and I coach children, adolescents, college students and adults, at times it is easy for me to jump to conclusions or assumptions on areas where I can see a clear answer before them.
Then, I remember that what inspires me to coach is the desire to be a partner in their journey of self-discovery.
I do that by maintaining an attitude of curiosity. Through curiosity we can learn the other person’s thoughts, motivation and reasoning.
What’s curiosity? Wikipedia defines: Curiosity as “careful, diligent, curious.” It is a quality related to inquisitive thinking such as exploration, investigation, and learning evident in observation of human and many animal species. A thirst for knowledge, curiosity is a major driving force behind scientific research and other disciplines of human study.
Curiosity is about open-mindedness. It’s the willingness to learn about someone else’s point of view, their story or their wants. It starts by asking the first question about the other person.
ASK – Gather Information or Knowledge
LISTEN – Purposely and Passionately
SUSPEND – No Judgment
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Coaching enters as soon as a person becomes aware that a challenge exists and they want to discover and learn new skills to manage it. For individuals with ADHD, this can be a deficit on Executive Functions. A coach may team up with a psychotherapist since that enables a coach to develop and update a “game plan” for the client.
