In General
Worry is a normal emotion. Children worry about starting school, the dark, or making new friends. Adults worry about speaking in public, on first dates, or being around people. However, when does worry become a problem?
As with many disorders, the critical first step is awareness. What is the severity?
- Are you experiencing uncontrollable thoughts?
- Is fear taking over your life?
- Is your family affected?
When anxiety interferes with your ability to handle everyday situations or you’re avoiding things that most people can and enjoy doing, this is likely an anxiety disorder.
How do you know when professional help is required?
- The anxiety is unrealistic
- It is out of proportion
- You are overly self-aware
- The anxiety is unwanted and out of control
- It doesn’t go away
- You start to avoid events, situations or leaving the house
What Do I Do Next?
Anxiety disorders, in children or adults, are treatable. Consider these steps when questioning what to do next.
- Talk to your doctor. This is a good first step to rule out any physical illness.
- If an anxiety disorder is diagnosed, look for a co-existing condition such as substance abuse, ADHD, depression, or many others.
- Your doctor may recommend the use of medication.
Treatment Does Not Stop There
A critical next step is to seek help from a mental health professional.
- Choose someone who has specific expertise in diagnosing and treating anxiety.
- Choose a professional with who you’re comfortable and can work together as a team. Together you will create a treatment plan.
- A valuable tool for treating anxiety is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
Anxiety rarely goes away without treatment. Having a support system is key to the process of understanding and treating the anxiety so you live a more meaningful and fulfilled life.
Avant-Garde Counseling and Coaching Center has a number of specialists who are experts in the treatment of children and adults with anxiety and depression. We also have a resource of 8 questions to help you assess How Anxiety Affects Your Life.
Journal Writing, Strategies for ADHD
Journaling Is A Powerful Tool. The benefits of writing a journal may be unintentional but profound. This ancient tool has been around for centuries and has helped us learn about our history, our families, and ourselves.
Journal Writing Ideas
Journaling is not just about what you did every minute of the day, what you ate, or when you went to sleep. It can be so much more. Journaling is about emotions. It’s about learning. It’s about growth. It’s about pain. It’s about love. It’s about you.
You can write what you did each day, venting about something that bothers you. It could be something you want to get off your mind. Or how you behaved in a certain relationship. Or your bucket list goals. There’s no one way.
The point is for you to STOP. BREATH. THINK about your life.
Journaling brings you clarity. It may increase your perspective or reduce tension. The journaling process can help you deal with difficult situations. Be creative. Think of your future and DREAM.
Benefits of Writing a Journal
History has given us so many amazing people who have kept journals. Anne Frank, Ernest Hemingway, Oprah Winfrey, and Harry S. Truman. And then there are the scientific findings.
The University of Texas at Austin psychologist and researcher James Pennebaker confirms regular journaling strengthens immune cells called T-lymphocytes. Other research indicates that journaling decreases the symptoms of asthma and rheumatoid arthritis. Pennebaker believes writing about stressful events helps you come to terms with them and therefore reduces the impact of these stressors on your physical health.
Journaling Tips
Start by writing. Any way you want to do it. Whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be incomplete sentences or poetic. It can be a few words, bullets, or notes. It’s your style. It’s Yours.
Use a calendar. Add an entry in your calendar, each day 10 – 15 minutes to sit down and journal. For ADD / ADHD individuals, keep this simple. The calendar reminder will help you remember and once you’ve completed your journaling, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment. You reached your goal. Start small and make it simple.
Create your own Journaling Template. Or check out the apps that are available. Or find a bound journal that has inspirational quotes on the pages. These often offer support and encouragement.
Make journaling a part of your daily routine. Make it a habit.
“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train.” Oscar Wilde – 19th century Author, Playwright & Poet
Free Downloadable Ad-Free Writing Journal Pages
There’s no reason to delay. Click this link below for a couple of different journal pages. It will help you get started today.
AG – Printable Journal Writing Paper
Collaborative Parenting Skills, Strategies for ADHD
Every year our children have the chance to start the new school year with a fresh start. Parents have the same opportunity – a fresh start. How will this school year be different? What tips and strategies will you use this school year?
For most families, schedules go out the door during the summer. There are late-night bedtimes and countless hours playing video games, watching TV, vacations, and summer camps with lots of activities. By now parents are ready for the kids to return to school and regain normalcy and structure at home.
What’s Your School Year Goal?
When your child has Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder Hyperactivity, or behavioral challenges, school time can cause you to worry. And your children may also be scared or anxious. Possibly last school year was not a positive experience. Everyone is concerned about what is to come 2015-2016 school year.
Having a successful school year is everyone’s goal.
Parenting an ADD / ADHD child requires time, consistency, structure, routines, and strategies. As a parent, you already have lots of love. You’re going to need to hold on to that when you’re at your wit’s end (which is perfectly okay to feel).
Tips For Having a Successful School Year
How can you delay or even avoid getting to your wit end?
- Create calm and order in your home
- Establish appropriate rules and expectations
- Minimize power struggles, meltdowns, and angry outbursts over daily events
- Help your child learn to manage frustration
- Reduce homework stress for you and your child
- Help your child capitalize on their strengths and increase their self-esteem
- Gain from other parent’s experiences and support
This School Year Can Be Different
It may be time to look at new ways, the latest tools, strategies, and techniques.
ADHD, ADHD Symptoms, Anxiety, Connecting, Depression, Strategies for ADHD
Maybe.
This might not be the answer you want to hear. ADD/ADHD, Anxiety or Depression manifest in different ways. There’s no definite and absolute answer when working with children and adolescents. However, what I will say that is absolute, is the love you have for your child and their love for you.
Help Our Children Manage Their Emotions
A child, like us, have good days and bad days. It is your job as the parent to remain calm when they are out of control. I know this is easier said than done.
However, as the adult we are the ones responsible to help them understand and learn to manage their emotions. We create a safe place for them to do that.
As an adult, it’s easier to tell when we’re stressed, worried or sad. We can use our words. We have options to help ourselves. We go for a walk. We talk with a friend. We even take some time out.
Children are not this self-aware. They don’t understand what, why or how about their emotions. Much less how to react. A child knows how to scream, cry or call out for you when something doesn’t feel right.
Be Aware Of How ADD/ADHD, Anxiety or Depression Manifests
But when they’re hurting emotionally, the pain inside is inexplicable to them. They only know how awful it feels so they act out on that pain. This can manifest itself in so many ways.
- Tears
- Throwing things
- Not eating
- Loss of sleep
- Isolate
- Become clingy
- Problems come up at school
- Lack of energy
- Increased worry
- Loss of interest in their hobbies
- Overly engaged
Noticing your child’s behavior is very important.
It is up to you to identify if the behavior is part of their developmental growth, ADD/ADHD or another physical reason. Look at how often this behavior comes up. The intensity of the behavior. These are cues.
Create a Safe Place
When you’re talking with your child, it is critical you create a safe place. Do you stay with them? Or sometimes an adolescent may be left alone to calm down.
Are you talking to them at their level? If not, drop down to your knees and hold direct eye contact.
You want to create a connection with love and respect. This creates safety and trust.
Accountability, ADHD, Strategies for ADHD
Any one of these ADD/ADHD Strategies can positively impact the lives of anyone living with ADD/ADHD.
Start Small
Starting small and experiencing success is vital. Every inch of your accomplishments becomes an inch of actual emotional growth. You’re building mental muscles by doing “reps” just like a bodybuilder develops washboard abs.
Start Easy
A parent can demonstrate to a child how putting the dirty clothes in the hamper is the first step to having a clean room. Or an adult can gather the monthly bills and have the necessary tools handy to pay the bills. Find your easy first step.
Create Your Space
To create a new habit, you must have a designated place for what you want to accomplish. A writer surrounds him or herself with an area that is both inspirational and conducive to recapturing their inspiration. It may have to be private. In these cases, it’s okay to temporarily “banish” people, pets or cell phones to another room. Having this space will develop your self awareness and help you appreciate the way good habits play in your success. This is what we mean when we compliment someone on being a true professional.
Break it Up
Remember the schoolyard joke, “how do you eat an elephant?” Answer: one bite at a time. Move forward in small doable tasks.
Set a Due Date
Establish a specific date and time for the task to be over and done with. Write it down. Refer to it as needed. This is why God made Post-It Notes. Remember, be kind – don’t nag yourself. Use your accountability calendar.
Keep The Goal Alive
Remember what you are aiming at. What specifically are you trying to accomplish? Whatever it is, it is one more facet of a shining gem that will reflect a more capable and confident you.
Visualize
What? When? How are you doing it? Sometimes an odd detail will flesh out your plan of action. Maybe it’s picturing the steam rising from your soothing cup of tea that solidifies your next move.
Provide Accountability
Have a coach or a friend serve as an accountability partner to provide support and encouragement. They will ask powerful questions and help you delineate ways to stay focused. The right people respect your dreams and desires. They will work to help you fulfill them.
Avoid Distractions
There are so many distractions that can steer you off course. Pay attention to the negative influence of “harmless” social distractions such as surfing the net, chatting mindlessly on the phone, binge-watching TV, exploring every level of a new game or being lured away by non-stop party people.
Be Thoughtful
Once you’ve started and your brain is activated, stop and celebrate what you’ve accomplished. If you fell like continuing with the task, then keep going. If you stop, make sure you set the next date and time to continue working on the project.
ADHD, Executive Functions, Goals, Strategies for ADHD
A hill is just a hill
The parents of children with ADHD are all-too-familiar with phrases like “It’s boring” or “It’s too hard” or “I don’t like it.” As adults, these same children come to realize that society will unflinchingly demand certain tasks of us, and slightly modify their complaints to phrases such as “It’s so hard to get started” or “It‘s late and I can’t find the time” or “I’m not really motivated to complete it.”
Narrow Your Focus
With ADHD every molehill tends to become a mountain. A big aspect of learning to cope with ADHD is taking care to not magnify the workload that is actually before you. Otherwise you risk being told “That excuse only works once – now your job is on the line.”
Narrow your focus. A hill is just a hill. If you were already on top of it, you would be thinking how wonderful it would be to surrender to a childlike urge and roll down it. Visualize the joy that is waiting for you at the top. Revel in the breathless anticipation of launching yourself into the rewards that await you.
Climbing that hill might seem like an obstacle course; there are so many things to avoid! Distractions, negative thoughts, emotional diversions … so let’s talk about the strategies that will help you conquer your personal “IT.”
Activate the Brain
A difficult step for individuals with ADHD is engaging the brain so that it completes a task
Imagine making a cup of tea. You have to find a clean cup, choose the tea, and prepare the hot water (either by kettle, boiling it on the stove, or zapping it in the microwave). Once the hot water is ready, pour it in the cup, add the tea, sugar, lemon.
Yes, most people are lucky enough to handle routine tasks on “automatic pilot.” But you know you’re not most people. With ADHD and possible deficits in your Executive Functions, you won’t process information and follow steps like everybody else. Accept, forgive, allow for extra time, and be patient with yourself.
Knowing all the steps and organizing them is the key to managing an activity
You may visualize them as a list, clearly printed in black and white. Or you may think more like a mapmaker, planning your movements from one section of the kitchen counter to the next. Experiment and determine how your thoughts “move”- do they go down a list, climb up a ladder, or move in a sideways shuffle?
Whatever works, incorporate that into your game plan. You’re not lazy or unmotivated. You just want a cup of tea before your toast and eggs get cold. It’s not too much to ask of a waiter in a restaurant. And it’s just that. Sometimes you have to be your own waiter. And, here, a delicious breakfast is going to be your tip. (Amazing how a task worth doing to YOUR satisfaction stops being a hill.)
Avant-Garde has a free worksheet in our Resources and Downloads called, Activating The Brain to help you with this strategy.
Get Started
What’s needed? A structure that provides a routine that is repeatable. How do you build this foundation? Understand which ADHD symptoms manifest in your actions. Know how to take charge and manage your symptoms when they arise.
Taking Charge
Taking charge means:
- being accepting of who you are
- understanding the weaknesses in your Executive Functions
- identifying your support system
- making a commitment to yourself
- creating an accountability system
- planning
- being persistent
New Behaviors. New Hills To Climb
Fortunately, there will be a moment in your life when either you or your child will no longer have to consciously “think” about the structure because it is ingrained so deeply that it has replaced the behaviors that seek to divide you.
